22. The Art of Creating When You're A Deep Feeler

Welcome back to 3D Authenticity! In today’s episode, Jennifer opens up about what it means to be a deep-feeler in the creative process and how your sensitivity allows for a more authentic, honest relationship with the act of creating.

If you’ve ever wrestled with the push and pull of creativity – moments of flow that feel exhilarating, followed by blocks that feel heavy and overwhelming – this conversation is for you. Jennifer shares how emotional intensity can fuel artistry, what pitfalls often trap sensitive creatives, and how to cultivate self-trust that anchors your process.

This episode is especially for anyone who ... 

 ✨ Finds themselves paralyzed by perfectionism or self-doubt
 ✨ Feels vulnerable (or even afraid) of being seen through their work
 ✨ Waits for the “right mood” or inspiration before creating
 ✨ Longs to see sensitivity as a gift rather than a liability

In this episode, Jennifer covers:
✅  Why both flow and friction are sacred parts of the creative act
✅  The common pitfalls deep-feelers encounter
✅  How to reframe perfectionism, vulnerability, and intensity as creative assets
✅  The role of self-trust and worthiness in silencing internalized messages like “you’re too much”
✅  Why creating even when it doesn’t feel good builds resilience and freedom

Resources & Ways to Connect:
🔹 3D Authenticity – Jennifer’s Signature Group Coaching Program
 🔹 Follow Jennifer on Instagram: @3dauthenticity
🔹 Email: 3dauthenticity@gmail.com

Reflection Prompt
What’s one way you can welcome both the flow and the friction as part of your process?

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Transcript

Jennifer 0:08

Hello and welcome. My name is Jennifer Wade, and this is 3D Authenticity, where we talk about all things related to building a life in the real world that authentically reflects your core being. No matter if you're a chronic people pleaser or you're knee-deep in a major identity crisis, or especially if you've given up believing you can have a deeply fulfilling life, it's time to learn how to love who you are and unapologetically live your one-of-a-kind life. Join me for a deep dive in how to do exactly that.

Jennifer 0:42

Hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode of 3D Authenticity. I'm your host, Jennifer Wade, and today we are going to talk about something very close to my own heart. I want to talk about what it means to be a deep feeler in the creative process. Now I've been thinking about this for a while, and I just felt like today was the day to really get into it. And I thought it would make sense to start by sharing a little bit about my personal experience. So I would say that for many, many years, I have had a love-hate relationship with my creativity. Sort of. Yeah, to be more accurate, I would say that I have always held a deep love and a deep gratitude for my creativity. But when it comes to sitting down and actually channeling that creativity, there is no guarantee of creative flow or creative ease, which I would say made me feel a little mistrusting of my creativity, or even doubtful about whether or not I was actually creative, if that makes sense. It wasn't always easy. But on the other hand, sometimes it absolutely would feel easy. I would sit down to write or sit down to sketch a portrait, and it was like my ideas and my skills and my emotions were all working together. And I would feel, I do feel so in love with that process. There's so much pleasure in watching something come to life. And even when my perfectionism would kick in, it would still be joyful to craft the thing, whatever I was working on. But like I said, a lot of times that was just not the case at all. I'd feel that ache inside of me, the need to express something, and it would feel urgent, like it had to be done. But then I'd sit down to work on it and I would feel blocked, or like everything I was doing wasn't capturing the thing or the essence of what I was trying to convey. And that struggle would drain me. But because of the feeling of needing to create that thing or needing to express something, I would try to keep going. That ache just wasn't going to go away until it had found its way out. Yeah, I hope that makes sense. So obviously, these kinds of creative experiences were not as pleasurable or joyful in the moment. And in the cases when I actually finished the project, I would eventually accept that the end result was still pretty good, but the difficulty and the weight of the process would hang around my neck well after the project was finished. And actually, I think it took me a long time to realize that both of these pathways, the one of flow and the one of struggle, were actually two sides of the same coin. And that's what I want to talk about. Together, they are the whole truth of the creative act. It isn't just one or the other. The depths of my emotional experience on either side of the coin reflects a deep intimacy with creativity that over time I have come to hold as sacred. You know, in a funny way, this whole thing actually makes me think of toxic positivity. So bear with me. Now, just in case you're unaware of that term, toxic positivity, it is the tendency to brush over or dismiss uncomfortable and painful feelings in favor of the perspective that there's a reason for everything, or oh, it's all going to be okay, or you should just be grateful it's not worse. Like that kind of thing, right? Just rushing over the difficult truths of experiences and trying to put a polished gloss on it all. Now, if you have someone in your life like this, you know that it's impossible to have a real and deep and meaningful and trusting relationship with someone who is toxically positive. Because it's only a very surface level, right? A whole huge real part of your experience is being dismissed or invalidated. And that's just not how really good relationships work. So, in the context of being a deep feeler and in creativity, I feel like the same thing is true. If I only ever experience ease and flow, then I'm not fully understanding the depth of creation. There is friction in the creative act. There needs to be. And if I allow myself to experience the full force of it, I've understood something profound about the creative process. If I allow myself to fully experience the struggle of capturing a universal human experience, a universal human truth, and trying to hold it still for a moment with words or the pencil or my violin, then I have become more intimate with this universe and the way that it actually works. So at the end of the day, it does always make me think, thank goodness I have the capacity to feel it all. Thank goodness for that sensitivity. What a gift. And what a gift that you have it too. This is the tone I want to set for today's conversation. This isn't an episode about fixing sensitivity or trying to tone yourself down. It's it's about recognizing that the way we are wired, that deep and tender, and yes, sometimes overwhelming sensitivity, it allows us to experience a profound truth about this world that we live in, to be in a conscious relationship with it rather than just a witness of it. So here is my invitation as you listen today. Lean into the idea that your emotional depth is the access point to your most powerful creative impulse. Instead of trying to hide it or manage it or to control this part of yourself, this part that others may not understand or appreciate, I know. But as someone who does understand it, I want you to wear your sensitivity as a badge of honor. It is truly the key to your most powerful and meaningful creative expression. So let's talk about what this really looks like in practice, because I know I'm not the only one who's wrestled with this. Being a deep feeler in the creative process can mean that your emotions feel bigger than the canvas you're trying to paint them on. You sit down to create, and instead of clarity, you're overwhelmed. Or instead of flow, there's this knot of pressure in your chest. And I am gonna guess that you've also had plenty of moments when your inner critic joins the party, right? It's that internal sting, those comments of you're not capturing this right, or this isn't good enough, you're not doing it justice, nobody's gonna get this. And the thing about this is that when you care deeply, when you feel deeply, the stakes just feel higher. You want to do justice to the thing you're trying to express. And that desire is beautiful and noble, but it can also paralyze you. So here's the shift that changed everything for me. What if the intensity and remember that includes both the highs and the lows? What if that intensity isn't a barrier, but is actually the raw material of the work? So think about it. Think about all the ways that creation in general is intense. Childbirth, right? The Big Bang, caterpillars becoming butterflies. There are so many examples of creation being both difficult, filled with friction and even violent change, while also being awe-inspiring and beautiful. So when we as deep feelers feel overwhelmed in the midst of the creative process, it's because we are attuned to so much. We notice subtleties, we hold complexity, we feel the layers of what something means and are trying to bring these powerful natural energies together in a completely new way. And of course, that isn't always going to be easeful, but it is a gift. Most people just breeze past those nuances, but you can catch them, and you can give them form. And that's where art lives. Even something that we classically think of as problematic, like perfectionism, this too actually has a shadow of a gift, right? Yes, it can inhibit you if you let it become a form of self-punishment. But at its core, perfectionism comes from a deep reverence for truth and beauty and quality. You care enough to want your work to reflect the essence of what you feel. And if you can let go of the demand for perfect and instead lean into that reverence, it can bring an extraordinary level of integrity to your art. Okay, so there's another piece to this. What about vulnerability? I feel this one deeply as a creative for sure. The things that we create feel so personal and so raw, as if the outside world can see straight to our core through our work. Now, whether or not that's actually true doesn't matter, as much as the fact that it can certainly feel that way for us, right? And this vulnerability might very well be one of the hardest parts of the journey to make peace with, but it's also where the magic happens. When you create from the full force of your being, you're not just producing for the sake of producing, you're offering a piece of your humanity, and that is what resonates. That's what touches people and lifts them or makes them pause. It might seem counterintuitive, but it's true that the very thing that feels so risky is also the very thing that makes your work unforgettable. So, as much as sensitivity is a gift, there are some real pitfalls that come with being a deep feeler in the creative process. And if you've fallen into them, you will recognize yourself in some of these. So I'm going to explain them and then I'll talk about some ways that I've found to overcome these blocks, or at least to not let them stop me immediately in my tracks. So the first one is that emotional overwhelm that can lead to shutdown. It's that pressure to get it right, and it feels so huge that sometimes you don't even get started. It's like the weight of your own feelings makes the act of creating feel impossible. And instead of flow, you just freeze. And this breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when it's happened to me, but it also breaks my heart that I know it happens to so many others. But the good news is that it doesn't have to be this way. So, like I said, I'll get more into that in a moment. But another really familiar struggle, and a huge one for me personally, is the desire and the longing to be seen and the heavy fear of being seen at the same time. In my experience, this sort of back and forth being pulled in both directions can be a pretty exhausting tug of war, and it can keep me stuck. So, sounding familiar? Well, what about this one? Another pretty major pitfall is this mood-dependent creativity. When you're rired to feel things deeply, it is easy to let your emotions dictate when you can and can't create. I cannot tell you how many countless times I have found myself waiting for inspiration to strike, or I'll be in the middle of a project and feel completely hijacked by the emotional weather system passing through on any given day. And if the emotional weather stinks, I avoid creating. But the unfortunate result is inconsistency and frustration because your creativity feels like it's out of your hands. It feels like this unpredictable thing that either visits randomly, or you just never know how long it's going to stay. So, as if all of that isn't enough, layer in all of those internalized messages that so many of us deep feelers have: things like, you're too much, or you're too sensitive to survive in the real world, nobody wants to hear what you have to say, or your perspective is just weird. Layer that in, and not only are those messages discouraging, but we absorb them at a level that most people just don't understand. And these messages start to carve away and reshape our identity. And over time, they shape how much we're willing to risk or how much of ourselves we're actually willing to share. And sadly, these messages even influence whether or not we try at all. So just think about how many extraordinary pieces of art or design were lost because of other people's opinions. Yeah. So if any of this sounds familiar, please hear me. This is not a personal failing on your part. These pitfalls are not proof that you are not cut out for creative work. They are natural, natural facets of being deeply attuned and deeply sensitive. As challenging as it is at times, the good news is that once you can start to recognize these things, you can start to work with them differently. And that is what we have been building up to. The all-important question of how do we work with this differently? How do we take all of that emotional intensity and actually let it serve the creative process instead of shutting us down? I would say that a truly liberating shift I've made in my own creative process is really learning to just stop fighting the difficulty. For so long, I thought that when I was struggling, it meant that something was wrong, that I wasn't inspired enough, or I wasn't disciplined enough, or maybe even that I wasn't talented enough. But, as I've been hinting, I was able to start asking myself, what if difficulty isn't a sign of failure? What if it's just part of the deal? Just can I let it come along for the ride? So this is what I would invite you to try. Instead of judging the intensity or the overwhelm or whatever the block is for you in that moment, just try welcoming it or at least allowing it to be there. Remember, friction is that inherent part of creation. For me, I always return to the bow pulling across the violin string, and that creates friction, which brings glorious music to life. So creation brings something into the world that has not existed before. That is always intense. So when you feel that resistance, the ache or the push or the sense of wrestling with your own work, you are not doing it wrong. You are actually participating in the truth of how creation happens. You get to choose what you make it mean. And then when flow comes, don't question it. Don't try to measure it or grasp at it or wonder how long it will last. Just ride it. Let yourself ride the waves of the emotional intensity. Because whether you're in friction or flow, both are valid, both are sacred, and both can fuel your work if you allow them to. Okay, now another piece I want to touch on is the way that those old internalized messages can creep in. You know, I talked about them before, that you're too much or you're too sensitive. Those voices are heavy, and if we don't notice them, if we don't watch them, they can end up draining the joy right out of creating. But here's where the worthiness piece comes in. At the heart of it, working with those voices isn't about proving them wrong to the world. It's about cultivating such deep self-trust and self-knowledge that you no longer need the world's permission. You're able to honor your unique wiring. You listen for what you need and you give yourself that thing. And getting to that place of deep self-trust takes time. It's definitely a process, but it's learnable. And it's a big part of actually what I teach in my program. But you can start this journey on your own by honoring your needs instead of trying to force yourself into being or creating the way you think you should be or should create. So maybe you just need to create in shorter bursts, or maybe you need quiet or ritual or a slower pace. Maybe you need to put something raw out into the world, even if it doesn't feel ready, but it honors your truth. The point is that every time you work with your own needs and intuition and inclination. You are teaching your nervous system that it is safe to proceed as yourself. You are believing that your sensitivity is not a liability, but instead it's like an anchor, and it's a major part of what roots you in your authenticity. When you can create from that place, those internalized messages start to lose their grip. You're no longer creating to prove your worth, you're creating as an expression of it. Okay. Before wrapping up, there's one more piece I want to add here because it is easy to confuse honoring your sensitivity with only creating when it feels good. And if you've lived with the emotional intensity for a while, you know that quote unquote feeling just right for creating can be rare and fleeting. Yeah, here's the truth. If you wait for the perfect emotional state to create, you will be waiting forever. It's like waiting for the stars to align. So, yes, of course your feelings matter. And yes, they color everything you touch. But discipline means having the capacity to show up even when the emotional weather is cloudy. And I know you know this is true, but sometimes the very act of beginning shifts things. You sit down, you may feel reluctant, but you take the pen in your hand, or you put the bow to the strings, or you open a Blake document, and something starts to move. The act itself becomes the invitation for flow. Okay, and yes, other times the mood doesn't lift, I know. And that's okay too. What matters is that you've shown yourself that you can create in all kinds of weather, and that builds more trust, that builds resilience. And instead of being at the mercy of your emotions, you are more in partnership with them. So showing up, even in discomfort, trains you to trust that something valuable can and does emerge from any and every state that you're in. And again, that is a much, much more honest and true and intimate relationship with creativity. So here's what I want to leave you with today. Being a deep feeler in the creative process is not about choosing between flow or friction, between ease or difficulty. It isn't about fearing your emotional intensity or needing to tame it even. It's about recognizing that it all belongs. When flow happens, embrace it. Enjoy that spark and the rush of joy when everything aligns. And when friction visits, allow it to be the teacher. Let it be the resistance and the stretch and the reminder that creation itself has always been an intense process. Intensity is, after all, what drives our need to express and share, because we feel that human experience so deeply. It's actually a bid for connection, and all of it is sacred. So with that, my friends, I think we're gonna wrap it up for today. But I want to thank you so sincerely for spending this time with me. And if this episode spoke to you, it would mean the world to me if you would share it with a fellow deep feeler. And if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you don't miss the next episode. Also, if you want to go deeper into this kind of work, I encourage you to check out my 3D authenticity program and get yourself on the wait list. It is really the ultimate place for guidance and support for your own journey toward living authentically. And I will link that up in the show notes for you. And you can also always connect with me on Instagram at 3D Authenticity, or just drop me a note and let me know what resonated with you most in this episode. And so until the next time, my friends, take care of yourselves. Be well, and bye for now.